Origin Essay9 min read
I've been on both sides of the fence
I cheated, I left, and years later I was the one betrayed. I know exactly what both sides feel like from the inside.
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The Essays
Field Notes from the Valley
Essays on marriage, infidelity, forgiveness, divorce, accountability and the stories we tell ourselves when we think the grass is greener.
Signature Essay6 min read
The day I got everything I wanted and realized I didn't want it
October 3, 2019. The book was #1. The keynote was done. The hotel room was empty. Ideas behind the book.
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Essay7 min read
The lie we tell ourselves
Long before I did anything, I had already written the story that made doing it feel reasonable.
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Movement Thesis8 min read
Starting over doesn't start clean
I changed my address, my routine and the people around me. The one thing that came with me every time was myself.
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Essay7 min read
Emotional checkout comes before infidelity
By the time anyone saw what I'd done, I had already been gone from the marriage for a long time.
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Signature Essay6 min read
The fantasy always beats reality
I wasn't comparing two lives. I was comparing a marriage on its worst week to a life that had never been asked to pay a bill.
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Essay7 min read
Forgiveness is not reconciliation
I had to learn one of these alone. The other took both of us, years, and proof I couldn't rush.
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Essay8 min read
Therapy doesn't work when people lie
I sat in counseling for years and wasn't always honest in the room. A counselor can only work with the marriage you actually bring them.
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Essay8 min read
Who you listen to shapes what you choose
I didn't decide to leave and then find support. I found support, and that's how I discovered I'd already decided.
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Essay10 min read
The cost nobody talks about
The reel ends at the moving truck. I found out the invoice keeps arriving for years, in every part of your life.
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Essay9 min read
The storm doesn't wait for paperwork
I spent time assuming a legal ending would be the moment the weather changed. What I lived through taught me that the weather doesn't work that way.
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The Other Side — our weekly letter
Don't navigate this alone
One letter a week: stories, lessons and reflections on marriage, betrayal, forgiveness, accountability and starting over, from someone who's lived both sides of it.
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